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It’s a very intimate and personal thing, trying to conceive a baby. For us it started in the early days of our relationship, we had the conversation about children, we both wanted them, we ticked that box, something to put on the back burner but a necessity in moving forward, it’s a make or break conversation. It wasn’t something we wanted straight away, we were still very young, we had study, travel, and careers to think about first, but it was an end goal. We talked about what we wanted to achieve before having a baby and what we wanted to put in place. For us it was important to be financially stable, we wanted to own our own home, we wanted to be married.
Once we were ready it was exciting, as it should be. We lived in a dream world of discussing baby names, talking about our plans for the nursery, with each month that passed we calculated due dates. Of course with anyone trying for a baby it’s what you think, live and breathe. We were excited to move into the next stage of our relationship and create a life together, it was also scary. It’s a huge commitment and a potentially life changing experience, you move forward with fear, elation and doubt. You have no idea what to expect, but you throw caution into the wind and take the plunge.
What starts off as one of the happiest times in a couples relationship, can very quickly become a scary one. Once you make a decision that you want something and that something doesn’t happen, what next? Sex can quickly become a chore, defined by purpose and often so many couple’s quickly lose sight of the primal need for love making to be sensual, a time to connect to each other, to express ones love. Before long you can be consumed with taking temperatures, counting days, ovulation charts and cervical mucus, sounds pretty boring right? How long does it take to conceive a baby? Everyone is different, for some lucky (or perhaps unlucky) people they don’t even need to ‘TRY.’ Someone once joked to me that they only needed to look at their husband and they were pregnant, helpful right? Everyone has a different experience, some people say 6 months is ‘normal’, some say 12, but when should you start becoming concerned? I know of a lot of people who are in tears at the sight of their very first period, after they started trying to conceive for the first time. When you make up your mind that you’re ready and you want something, why shouldn’t you get it?
My advice? If you are worried, whether its 4 months or 14 months in, speak to your GP. The worry is not going to do you any good at all. It’s not going to happen when you’re making yourself sick and it’s keeping you awake at night. What’s the worst that can happen, you have some tests and everything comes back fine? You put your mind at ease? If there is something wrong, at least you know and can begin to deal with it. Unfortunately for us women, time is never on our side, there is no point burying your head in the sand and pretending the problem will sort it’s self out. The more time that passes the harder the path is.
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