"We won’t put our lives on hold constantly planning for the baby that hasn’t come"

This week would have been our baby’s due date, but alas we are instead grieving the loss of a little soul who was too briefly on this earth.

I’m not going to tell you about how hard the past months have been. That goes without saying but instead I want to tell you about the time we have spend healing, growing and repairing.

The past 9 years of trying to conceive a baby, IVF and miscarriages have left us with gaping wounds, tired, and shells of our former selves. We are in a place we never imagined, one we would never wish for anyone. But we are here none the less.

We could be bitter, we could be broken, we could be separated, but we are not, we are strong. We have survived more together than we ever thought possible.

With the help of our friends and families we have made a decision to move on with our lives. Does this mean that we have finished exploring all possible options? No. I don’t think we ever will. But we have decided that we will no longer hold our breath waiting, we won’t let it consume us any more, and inevitably ruin us, we won’t put our lives on hold constantly planning for the baby that hasn’t come.

Instead we want to live each day in the present. Enjoy and be thankful for all the blessings we have. Our wonderful family, our beautiful nieces and nephews, all our amazing supportive friends and all their special children who treat us like the Aunty and Uncle we love to be.

We hope to enjoy our time together, holiday, travel, concentrate on our lives as individuals and to find our way forward together as childless parents and maybe, just maybe our child will find us.

These gorgeous pregnancy loss healing cards are from Aila and Lior. They are the perfect gift for someone experiencing pregnancy loss when you don’t know what else to do or can’t find the words to help.

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